Posted: December 10th, 2022
This story about a special daughter’s birth will allow you to practice your revising and editing skills.
Read the passage below and consider what edits you would make. Think about what you feel are the text’s strengths and weaknesses as well as what changes you would make if you were the editor for this text. Consider all aspects of writing, including Lower-Order-Concerns, such as grammar, sentence structure, and word choice, and Higher-Order-Concerns, such as main idea, content development, and organization. Then, answer the questions that follow the text.
My life changed forever on May 24, 2000. On that day, my daughter, Amber, was born. Since that time, she has been a joy to have. The night she arrived, though, was one of the most frightening experiences of my life because we almost lost her before we had her.
At 4am, I was awoken and told that it was time to have a baby. My wife was then driven to the hospital and walked into the maternity ward. We were checked in and brought to a hospital room, where we were told to wait until the baby was ready to come.
In the hospital room, we settled in and looked around, the walls were painted in warm colors of beige and blue. All the chairs had cushions, and there was a television to watch to pass the time. On the wall hung an ominous picture of Snoopy. It was raining outside, but inside the room was warm and dry. We felt secure and comfortable.
Then, after about an hour, my wife began feeling sick. We called the nurse, and she checked her vital signs. My wife began vomiting and complaining of sharp stomach pains. Crying, too. Looking very concerned, she hooked up my wife to a baby monitor and said that she would return in a few minutes.
Fifteen minutes later, the nurse came into our hospital room and told us that we had complications. My wife was scared and so was I, but I did not say anything. We agreed to the emergency procedure. Luckily things worked out.
Now we are a happy family. My daughter brings joy to us everyday through her smiles and hugs. She makes us so proud each time she marks a new milestone in life, such as learning how to walk. We will never forget how she began life with the greatest battle of when she fought for survival.
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